12-18-16
As another year comes to a close, I can honestly say that I am blessed beyond my wildest imagination.  I am at peace with where I am, and I get up each day thankful for all that is in my life.  I shudder to think about what I would feel like if things had not changed in my life.  These changes have been the hardest for my daughter (I would have kept the things the same if it had meant her happiness), but she is adjusting too; and she is realizing some very important key components needed in relationships.

I look forward to 2017... this will be the best year yet!

1-9-16

So far 50 has been wonderful and challenging. New experiences, loves and places mark a wonderful adventure into the future.  Dealing with the past and trying to stay positive and move on in the midst of manipulation, lies and meanness has been the challenging part.  The later had worn me down to the point that I had not been myself lately.  Winter Break was good for me to recharge by spending time with myself and a friend, resting, and organizing my life again.  

I realized during this time how much I had put on automatic pilot and that I had felt that I was swimming in a deep, violent ocean with no relief in sight.  

It took a spark from others to snap me back to realizing that I have a purpose and a vision for my life and for those around me.  I am thankful today for that spark, regardless of how much it hurt initially, that was needed to wake me!!!!  

May life give you the sparks you need to get back on track.

4-16-15

Remember to be courageous and kind today!

4-5-15

Today, I turn 50.  A little more than two years ago I began this journey and it has been a series of challenges, adventures, beginnings and endings.  The following were my goals:
1.  Learn about myself
2.  Figure out what I want the 2nd half of my life to be like
3.  To help others particularly woman with their journey towards 50

In many ways, I feel that my life can begin again... New decade, new adventures, and most of all new loves.  I am exploring all of these options.  The past is not quite done, but I hope it is soon and through the most recent challenges, my hope is to have better communication and all things settled so that one so sweet, kind, and courageous can relax, enjoy have fun for the next three years.  My truth be the ultimate indicator. I have most definitely learned about myself particularly why I do and feel the things I do and feel.  I want the second part of my life to be filled with  love, fun, and kindness.


So far these are the things I like:
1.  My precious daughter.
2.  My cute furry dogs.
3.  My beautiful house.
4.  My perfectly awesome job.
5.  Monte Cristo sandwiches
6.  A clean organized house
7.  Warm sunny day
8.  A freshly mowed yard.
9. The love, adventure, and fun of a wonderful man.
10.  Laughter
11.  Rest
12.  Purpose
13. Hanging out with friends and just talking and laughing.
14.  Truth even when it hurts.
15.  Having time for everything on my mind
16.  Hugs
17.  Coffee
18.  Family
19.  Running long distances.
20.  White Birthday Cake.
21.  Kind words.
22. Chip and Joanna Gaines
23.  Arkansas, Alaska, Arizona, Kentucky and North Carolina.

Today begins the best part of my life. I am exactly where I need to be. So I need to get up, get moving and start really living the second half of my life.   FIRE: Fifty Igniting Real Excitement.

Ten more days until I am 50.  I will know 2 things... My 50's are going to be my best time yet.  I will have a wonderful life, family and the last 2.5 years and then 17 years will fade away as most a pleasant but distant memory.  Love is the key and every day is a challenge to give love, but it is worth all the work.  I am thankful for many things in my life.

3-15-15

As 50 closes in and life seems to keep going in circles.. I am reminded of God's love.  It is his best idea yet.  Keep loving and all will fall into place.  Keep looking for the silver lining and it will light up.  All will make sense soon.  21 more days!!!!!
I am asking for two thing right now.  Both will come true.

2-9-15
I am so thankful for the words of many of my friends. These words are the bread that I eat at times that sustain me through shear confusion of the day.  But I find these words when I need them.  I read today from a dear friend that I knew so many years ago, "Thank you, God for your love.  This is the best ideas you've had yet."

My heart just sang and my whole being relaxed.  I am on a journey and even in the desert, God places the water that I need in all the right places. 

As I turn 50, I want to live each day, working and loving just as hard as I can.  At the end of the day, we give it all to Him who loves us despite ourselves.  Plans, plans, plans!!!! Give up the plans and let God give you his fresh plans.  It will be worth the wait.

2-08-15

So I am within two months till I turn 50.  I am so excited about my 50's.  It will be a great time of love, family, fun, and accomplishment.  Let's move forward!!!!

1-25-15

Love is....... a new year!!!

1-24-15
T minus 81 days until I am fifty.  I know that I will have the one things I am asking for by the time I am 50.  Not my job to figure out, but to believe.  Asked Universe for yellow roses two weeks ago, and right away, I saw two bouquets of yellow roses, then I got specifics and asked for three yellow roses to be delivered to school. Friday, three roses were delivered but to Mona.  Getting closer!!!!!! 
It will happen.

12-21-14
Be happy now! 
God whispers to you in good times,
have conversations with you daily and
shouts at you in bad times.
CS Lewis

12-14-14
True Love...... Love's first kiss..... a sign!!!!   I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream......but if I know you, I know what you'll do.  You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream.

12-11-14
What an interesting week.  Still pondering.  Four more months!!! Excitement in the air.

12-03-14

What a great day today was!  I am so blessed in my life right now.  I have a love who is my friend and fits all, yes all of the things on my list.  I am thankful for my daughter who is a bright, intelligent, giving and fun gal.  I am grateful for my career that allows me to be with some of the best people I know.. I am grateful for my beautiful house that is so much fun to decorate at this time of the year.  I am thankful for my dogs, they are companions and headaches that I would not trade for all the tea in China.  I am grateful for my family who loves me, gets me and puts up with me.  I am happy for today that I am exactly where I need to be even though I don't understand why things happen the way they do, doesn't matter, it is all good.  I am most of all happy, thankful and grateful for the love of God.  He loves us despite ourselves and that is most definitely a great thing.

8-31-14

Labor Day weekend.  So he left two years ago..so why do things still trigger me such as finding out that my former husband bought a house right behind my school.  Most will say, "That is just wrong."  Spent the last few days probing why my feelings are triggered because it represents a sadness that my family is gone... that my husband rejected me once again because he finally found a woman who he could leave me for... I guess that is the real trigger.

I know better what I want in my next relationship with a man.. and I am willing to wait for it and not settle on second best.  I have a list and I am trying to live the list myself.  This past year has been a journey of dating and finding out about men.  It has been an interesting journey and I am very grateful for where I am at right now. 

There is such a peace and knowing that I will be with this person by the time I am 50.  My daughter has a request that she wants me to be with someone so that we can be a family.  That is my request to the universe.  All the pieces will fall into place soon.  I just need to open my heart and not be guarded!  Exciting times.

8-28-14
So, a year ago I came home to a more than unpleasant visit.  Went on to have a great evening.  It is a year later.  While what I thought and wanted to happen did not and life still triggers me in a deep way, I am still very excited about being grateful for my life, living in the moment and looking forward to being so excited about my next journey. I am in a much better place... So thankful for everything that has led me to this moment for it is in this moment that I can choose to be at peace or let me mind drift to less than noble thoughts. 

8-9-10

Enjoying the moment, the hour, the day and my life today.  I will be fifty in 8 months and I am so excited about the wonderful changes, opportunities, loves, fun, and just adventure to come my way by then.  I am so certain about one thing that I have written about in my journal and I will reveal on the day I turn 50.

7-13-14

The Super moon is absolutely beautiful tonight!!! It makes me happy.

6-30-14

Last day of June.. Working on the yard.  Why do I always have such unrealistic expectations when it comes to yard work completion?   I am thankful for my yard.  What is the list of things I want in someone I will share my life with someday?
1.  Available...
2.  Respectful
3.  Wants to have fun and be somewhat of a daredevil
4.  Has nice encouraging words even when down
5.  Positive
6.  Godly and wise
7.  Has common interests or goals

I guess I will need to be these things first so that I know what they look like in others.

6-16-14

Today I wanted to have a message and it is
"HOPE FLOATS"
I will know.